This blog post is more personal than real estate related, but somehow the two often tie in together.I share it because maybe it will relate, maybe it will offer a sense of comfort to anyone out there feeling a little bit lost or alone.
Last year (February 17, 2025 to be exact) I lost my partner to pancreatic cancer. Even writing those words makes me tense up… it’s a beast of a disease. He has just turned 52 less than 3 weeks before he passed, way way way too damn young for his life to be ending - we were in our prime and just getting started.
I lost my love, my best friend, my present and my future all in one go, and as ‘prepared’ as I thought I was, nothing could prepare me for that year of firsts. They all hit in different ways and each event (birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas…) brought about so much reflection, tears I thought would drown me and of course a good ol’ surge of anger - like the kind where you legit shake your fist at the sky and ask ‘Why God Why??’
Ultimately, its all a very healthy process. We’re human, we emote, we feel and we grieve. How lucky am I to have something so precious to grieve (believe me it took me a while to get to the place where I could make such a statement).
But, and if you’ve experienced any sort of loss, you’ll likely relate to what I’m about to say: the grieving is the easy part compared to what comes along with it.
People get weird.
I had my ride or die group. The friends who were there by my side regardless of whether they knew what to do or what to say. There were just THERE and I’m eternally grateful for them.
And then there’s the ones you thought FOR SURE would be there, and weren’t - you know the ones where you just take for granted they will be because that’s their predetermined role in your life?
And the people who were there in the beginning that slowly fade away… that’s cool, they have their own lives and likely don’t realize how much of a mark it leaves when the void they filled goes quiet.
Am I that forgettable? Insignificant?
Of course not, but it’s hard not to feel that way.
But the strangest and hardest part for me was being pushed out of a family that I had considered my own...the ones whose son/brother I stood by until his last breath. And this isn’t martyrdom, I wouldn’t have done it any other way, but it leaves a big question mark hanging in the air, and adds a whole new layer of grief and confusion.
Apparently this is quite common and unfortunately I am not the exception to the rule.
If you’re going through a life change… whether it be a divorce, widowhood, even empty nesting, I get it.
I’ve always been naturally empathetic, but now I can honestly say I GET it.
If you’re reading this and can relate of any of my experience, you’re either going to give me a 'Hell Yes' or a 'Thank God' to this next bit:
It may not get easier (spoiler alter, it actually does) but you will get stronger.
Tolerance for BS goes way down, and you’ll discover and strength within yourself you never knew you had.
It takes a lot of self talk, figuring out how to calm the nervous system, and a serious reframing of thoughts, but it's worth doing every bit of the work.
I’d like to think that I’m coming out the other side a better human. More understanding, patient and compassionate.
If you’re standing on the edge of a major life transition getting ready to take that next big leap let me assure you that YOU’VE GOT THIS.
Need to talk things through? I’m both a Realtor and a coach. I’m happy to help in any way I can.
